so Lindsey broke up with me after 2ish weeks of dating or whatever we were doing. kinda sucks since we've known each other for a long time, and cause I liked her a lot. I think thats why it didn't work. I've never actually initiated any relationship in my life. So I'm sure I may have come on too strong or whatever. all I know is I'm starting to hate dating. Its just a game of hooking someones attention and keeping it.

I can hook attention fine, but to keep it is a challenge. I'm usually trying to be the perfect guy instead of just being myself. I'm probably just as "perfect" when I'm myself except not so tip-toeish. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells and one false move is going to wreck everything. The problem is that me being this way is probably what does wreck everything.

lucky me that I know she didn't really get to know me well at all. So I can't really think there is anything wrong with me other than that I'm goofy and aukward in the begining of a relationship. But I already knew that...

There were a few moments that I know were wonderful, better than anyone I've ever been with, but considering who I've been with, maybe thats not saying much... I don't know. I guess I could bury these feelings under false asumptions, I would think less of myself for it though.

I was supposed to go to a big huge party tonight. I didn't. I probably could have gotten drunk and hooked up with some skank too. what a shame...

reading my posts from two years ago... I think I lost my sillyness... I going to get it back though... *runs to get the sillys..."